💭 "Next to being shot at and missed,
nothing is quite as satisfying
as an income tax refund."
💭 "Today, it takes more brains and effort
to make out the income-tax form
than it does to make the income."
Our Cosmic Accounting Glee
We’re Not Just Number Crunchers!
We’re Intergalactic Tax Navigators!
iqCron Accounting
EST. 2021 • EARTH STANDARD TIME
"Well, since you have astronomically made it
onto our Media page
💫 at a speed of 299,792 kms per second 💫
which may be a little slower pace
than the speed of light to be exact,
('may be' and 'to-be-exact'...
what a paradox...!
...I know, right!? 😇...
Btw, taxation has no place for that word 'paradox';
may be 'being reasonable' works at times
in the absence of a hard-comet-evidence...
but that still 'depends' on what's what...
Like a shooting star ☄️..!
must crash-land on the Earth
for its havoc to be tax-deductible
for Earth if Earth were carrying on
a business of catching shooting stars ☄️
without causing any havoc to the Earth
under The Blazing watch-dog Sun 🌞...
a clean catch...!
a shooting star...☄️!
...is that even possible...!? 🤔🌠...
Anyhow, let's stay precisely up above
46.1 billion light years away
where the tax has no place, perhaps...!)
Did you know the speed of light of a galaxy
is flawed by the expanding universe itself!?
Yes, literally...go figure!
(the kind of anomalies the tax office hates!)
No, seriously, from the hind side -
the things you dream are nothing but
what is happening with you
in one of the parallel universes of the multiverse!
...W-H-A-T...!!!!???
Now, seriously, go figure T-H-A-T...
...(btw, the film, "Coherence" may help a little...!!!)
So, not sure why
Mr. F. J Raymond and Mr. A. E Neuman
were so space-struck
with the man-made taxes in this Earth above 🤷♂️,
since the earth we can breathe in
is merely a speck in the Hubble Sphere 🌀,
let alone the Observable Universe
or the ENTIRE Universe
or even the MULTIVERSE/S ✨🌐🎇...!!!
Yes, you got me, somewhat there...!
That said, life should be more s-p-a-c-i-o-u-s
than sweating over that EOFY tax return of yours…
So, let's just get over it
by doing the 'right things'
(🎓🚀 that I'm good at doing 🎓🚀)...
because there's defo more going on
in our multiverse
💸than that meets the taxes...💸!!!"
– iqCron Accounting
(The Accountant)
(not even close to that of Ben Affleck's!...😉)
🚀 THE MISSION 🚀
Imagine if Einstein did your taxes...!
✔ He’d warp spacetime to meet deadlines.
✔ E = MC² becomes "Expenses = Moral Crisis²".
✔ Now subtract the mad scientist hair,
add a double-shot of espresso,
and voilà -
you’ve got iqCron Accounting.
We navigate:
✔ the asteroid field of ATO compliance
(while Realists weep).
✔ The black hole of receipts
(where post-modern Nihilists thrive).
✔ The event horizon of EOFY -
beyond which no deduction returns.
So you can focus on:
✔ Building Your Galactic Empire
(or at least a really nice coffee cart franchise
on the TRAPPIST-1 e 💀).
✔ Perfecting Your ‘I Pay My Taxes’ Smirk
(while floating in zero-G,
smugly watching Earth’s audit notices
burn up in the atmosphere).
✔ Sleeping Soundly Across
the Space-Time Continuum
(knowing your lodgments—yes, no ‘e’
— are so bulletproof,
even a supernova couldn’t breach them).
💫 Because in this universe—or any other—
iqCron’s got your back (and your deductions). 💫
(Or go conquer the cosmos...
because the tax man can’t tax
what they can’t catch!) 🌌✨
Fun Fact:
If aliens filed taxes on TRAPPIST-1 e,
their "EOFY" would last 1.5 Earth days
(its orbital period).
👽💸👽
WHY WE EXIST
Once upon a time,
an accountant stared into
a black hole of receipts...🧾
the abyss of unclaimed expenses...💸
...and the abyss stared back
⚠️ with a Section 8-1 audit trigger ⚠️
Not-with-comet-standing, he saw…
...opportunity...
We exist because:
✔ The universe expands. Your patience shouldn’t.
✔ ‘Creative accounting’ should refer
to our iqCronative dark banter,
not your audit risk or prison sentence.
✔ Even black holes comply with tax laws (probably).
OUR SECRET SAUCE
🪄💥 We weaponize: 💥🪄
✔ Human brilliance + tech sorcery -
unlike firms still using 'abacus-based nihilism'.
✔ Boutique service - 🪐
because in an infinite multiverse,
your tax strategy should be unique.
✔ Spelling pedantry
(🔍or PhD in attention-to-detail 🔬) -
because even a missing 'e' in lodgment
can collapse a quantum ⚛️ ledger.)
✨ OUR INTERGALACTIC TAX MANIFESTO ✨
We Are Boutique Tax Accountants —
🎓 Celestial, Timeless & Certified by: 🎓
☄️ the Intergalactic Order of Public Accountants (IOPA) ☄️—
(because taxes transcend planets, species, and linear time.)
🌠 Why "Celestial & Timeless"?
✔ We navigate tax codes as effortlessly as
cosmic strings bend through dimensions.
✔ Our expertise transcends mortal fiscal years—
we’ve been balancing ledgers since the Big Bang💥
("Depreciation of Singularities?
We wrote the manual!!!").
✔ Finally but eternally, balancing the books between:
🌟 Objective Truths
("The ATO will find you."),
🌟 Subjective Truths
("But my crypto losses feel deductible!"),
🌟And the screaming void
where Nihilists and Solipsists duel over
whether your tax return even exists.
Intergalactically Certified means we’re trusted by:
✔ Hyper-intelligent beings from Andromeda 👽
(who still struggle with GST);
✔ Time-traveling entrepreneurs ⏳
("How do I deduct a warp-core breach?");
✔ AI overlords who just want to file and forget. 🤖
✔ Quantum-entangled entrepreneurs ⚛️
("Can I claim entanglement decay as a loss?");
✔ Or, post-singularity AIs ⚡🤖
who just want compliant tax havens...🥚
🪐 "Boutique" Across All Realities 🪐
We craft singularity-grade accounting & tax solutions for:
🪐 Terrestrial enterprises
(from startups to your neighborhood warp-drive repair shop);
🪐Extraterrestrial or off-world ventures
("Is moon mining tax-deductible?
Short answer: Yes...
and "yes, you're right,
asteroid mining depreciation schedules
are our specialty.");
🪐 Non-corporeal entities
("We speak fluent dark matter bookkeeping");
🪐 Or, entities existing in 5D spacetime
("Filing tax in a multiverse? Let’s talk!").
🌀 Our Guarantee 🌀
Your financial records will remain impeccable
long after the last stars fade to embers.
(And yes, we accept payment in stardust or
carefully curated cosmic background radiation.)
☄️ iqCron Accounting ☄️
Balancing the universe's books
since the first quantum fluctuation.
(Because even entropy deserves proper deductions.)
P.S.
Ask about our Ethereal & Eternal Event -
The Glee of Horizon Tax Shelter Program -
legally avoiding gravitational pull
since 14.7 billion BCE.
🚀 TL;DR: 🚀
We’re the accountants you’ll still need
after humanity evolves into pure energy.
MULTIVERSE TAX LOOPHOLES
Earth’s taxes = A speck in the Hubble Sphere.
The Observable Universe = A rounding error.
But here’s the real horror:
👻 If Philosophical Nihilism is true,
nothing matters -
not even your GST compliance.
👻 If Solipsism is true,
you’re the only client we have.
(We accept payment in existential crises.)
👻 If Simulation Theory is right,
The ATO is just an AI with a grudge.
THE PARADOX OF LIGHT-SPEED TAX EVASION
Meanwhile, in a parallel universe:
Idealists deduct dreams as business expenses.
Simulation Theory believers argue
their taxes are just glitches in the code.
Skeptics refuse to file tax returns
until they "see the receipts"
💥from the Big Bang 💥.
(Btw, the film Coherence won’t help...
Nothing helps...
Albeit a tax'osmic glee by iqCron Accounting!!!)
🌙 Moondust, Helium-3 & TAX 🌙
(A Universal Cosmic Accounting Shanty)
However,
If moon mining is your thing
in the cold lunar ground,
Where Helium-3’s the new oil you’ve found.
The world’s bots scrape that star-chilled dirt,
While Earth’s taxmen screech, ‘GST?!’—how absurd!!!
Ohhhh—
Yes, tax follows wherever we go
So, lodge your claims by the pale moon’s glow,
Or the ATO’s rockets will make you know…
Even in space, you’ll never outrun
The long arm of law—and their audit gun. 🔫📝
So mark the ledgers, track each gram,
For this lunar gold won’t fill a scam.
iqCron watches, sharp-eyed, true—
Even moon mines need someone to do
The books.
🌌
iqCron Accounting is where
‘tax minimization’ doesn’t mean
‘hiding in the Andromeda galaxy.’
(Unless that’s your strategy.
We don’t judge.)
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
💭 Think-tanks on Taxes! 💭
💭 "Man is not like other animals in the ways
that are really significant:
animals have instincts, we have taxes."
- Erving Goffman
(Canadian-born Sociologist, 11 June 1922 – 19 Nov 1982)
💭 "I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
- Douglas Adams
(author - HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 1952 to 2001)
💭 "People who complain about taxes
can be divided into two classes: -
men and women"
- Unknown
💭 "The best things in life are free,
but sooner or later
the government will find a way to tax them."
- Unknown
💭 "Death and taxes and childbirth!
There's never a convenient time for any of them."
- Margaret Mitchell (novelist, 1900 to 1949)
💭 "The income tax created more criminals
than any other single act of government."
- Barry Morris Goldwater
(US Politician, January 2, 1909 – May 29, 1998)
💭 "Our new Constitution is now established,
everything seems to promise it will be durable;
but, in this world, nothing is certain
except death and taxes."
- Benjamin Franklin
(The Founding Father of United States of America)
💭 "Yes: here's to the founding fathers-
slave-owning British citizens
who didn't want to pay taxes..."
- David John Mazzucchelli
(American comics artist and writer)
Accreditations & Associations:
~ iqCron Accounting acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of the land in which we live, work and play, the Nyoongar people, and we pay our respect to Elders past, present and emerging. ~